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Hermès Made A Pair Of Clogs

Hermès Made A Pair Of Clogs

You’d never believe it: clogs, back again. I’m not going to lie to you, I actually did own a pair when I was about 12, and I frekkin’ owned that shit. Super uncomfortable, looks mediocre, but do people love them? Hell yes. Do they also love to hate them? Hell yes.

Well, guess what? Clogs are back, baby!

Out of all the weird things that the story writers of 2021 have come up with, the wildest thing was not when that group of Redditor’s tried to attack Wall Street and succeeded; it was not when that container ship got stuck in the Suez Canal and cost global trade $9 billion; it was not even when Armie Hammer came out as an actual cannibal; no, it was when the fashion community decided that a clog was going to be the next It Shoe.

What is this? 1997? Did I stumble into a time machine by mistake, only to find myself in a world where crocs are the worst thing in the tangible world, but clogs are fashionable? And it hasn’t even been championed by some contemporary, slightly absurd brand like Marc Jacobs or Jonathan Anderson’s Loewe. No, it’s Hèrmes.

If you had told me a year ago that I was going to spend one thousand dollars on a pair of clogs, I would have laughed in your face, tapered off, then laughed in your face some more.

But what can I say? I’ve been influenced. And I was there for the clog trend the first time around – I’ve been burned before. 12 years old, clomping around in my Dolce & Gabbana floral clogs, spraining my ankle every time there was a tiny pebble on the footpath, condemning my future self to cracked heels by the brutal lack of cushioning. I’ve been there, and it was a love/hate relationship.

Now, 13 years later, I’m back, and I’m about to dive back in. We’ve already got some of the big names following in Hèrmes’ footsteps: Chloé, Bottega Veneta, Dior, Louis Vuitton, Gucci – and don’t forget all the copycats too (Boo you Zara!). The clog trend has only just started, and it’s coming back with a vengeance. Clogs are an extreme: absolutely atrocious 99.5% of the time/über-fashionable for the other 0.5%.

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We should have seen it coming; with the return of the masculine brogue (à la Prada) shows a resurgence of elevated flats. We’ve had enough of sneakers on every foot, and are looking for something a little more luxe. Back comes leather flats in a way that we didn’t expect – the clog.

What’s not to love? The delightfully coquettish shape; the subtle H (or the iconic Hèrmes clasp if you’re looking for something with a little more hardware); the sleek, luxurious leather; and the muted studs that doesn’t take away from playful look. I could go on…

Already, the Hèrmes clog has sold out, with my favourite influencers Camille Charrière and Xenia Adonts clomping around town with a smile, looking absolutely fabulous. And soon it will be me, since I’ve joined exactly 3 waitlists and enlisted the help of not one, but two personal shoppers to help me on my outlandish endeavour. Maybe I’ll regret it in six months time, but one thing I know about fashion – what goes around, comes around. And when it next comes around, I’ll be prepared, with my Hèrmes pair of clogs. Proost!

Image by Armando Grillo